Hey everyone! 

I’m sorry to deviate from the plan I so carefully laid out for you in my last post; but you know what they say about the best laid plans… 

This is a quick post to say I’m probably going to post about other quirky and interesting things besides shows, and more serious topics IF I have strong opinions on them. 

I know what you’re thinking.. Joann oh…this blog was supposed to be fun and stress free, why bring your strong opinions into the mix? 

I agree with you, but I have to be honest: when I wrote my very first post, I felt 50 pounds lighter than ever before. I’m pretty much an addict now 😭

Here’s my first problem with the world this morning. I spotted it on Instagram of course; so I will operate on the assumption that it remains unverified and will respond as such.

  
For emphasis, I’ll just repeat the quote in that picture: 

“I failed some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft” – Bill gates (source unverified)

Now IF Mr Gates actually said that, then I have a number of important questions to ask. 

1) Do you truly consider this ‘engineer in Microsoft’ your friend? 

I know I’m being nit picky but honestly, come on! Well done on making it big Mr Gates, you deserve all the credit in the world for pushing the boundaries and building a groundbreaking corporation that has led innovation since its inception.  But why throw your friend under the bus like this? Why compare your achievements? Showcasing the positives in your life by highlighting the difficulties you faced is important because it motivates others, but you should never do that at the expense of another person. The achievements of mr ‘Engineer at Microsoft’ did not need to be belittled in order for mr gates to shine. Comparisons like these invoke unhealthy competition between friends, and invariably ruin relationships! If my friend said this about me, best believe that friendship would be markedly different both in form, and content. On that note, I’m not exactly sure I would describe the relationship between these two as a friendship… or maybe I’m just being overly technical – you decide…

 
2) Could this be sending the wrong message to young readers? 

This is the motherly instinct I possess kicking in, but I dread the day my unborn (and unconceived, by the way) child will run into our home raving about how doing poorly doesn’t matter because Bill Gates made it. I appreciate that it is valuable to show children (& even adults) that failure doesn’t define them, but the comparison to the person who did do well adds an extra layer to the message that goes something like ‘sometimes we even do better than the ones that get good grades.’ While that may be true, I think it is important to avoid diminishing the significance of doing your best at everything, and the intrinsic value of developing breadth in knowledge. It’s also best not to make the people who do well feel as though they have achieved nothing so as to make people who haven’t done as well feel better. There are more pointed ways to address both sets of people without pitting them against each other . 

3) Could you be any less humble????

There are a million and one better ways to share your achievements with others than this. I know it is a factual statement but ‘I am the owner of Microsoft’  preceded by ‘now he is an engineer in Microsoft’  just comes off crass and self absorbed. 
I guess for me the lesson here is that we really need to think more about how we express ourselves, so that we don’t talk ourselves up at the expense of others. I am sure Mr Gates didn’t intend to belittle his friend and his achievements, but the statement he made did! There will always be a better way to say something if the way you are currently saying it puts someone down. 

Happy Monday Everyone! Cheers to a fantastic week! 

Love, 

Jojo 💖

Hey readers! 

I realize that this should really have been my introductory post, but to be honest my last post was pretty much an epiphany – I just needed to get it off my chest!

First of all, I sincerely want to thank everyone for reading! I have received so much positive feedback in the past 24 hours, and to be honest, I wasn’t expecting the article to even be this widely read, not to mention commented on. 

In any case I thought I would follow my post with the introduction that should have preceded it… 

So, what exactly is this blog?!?! 

I actually created this blog over a year ago, and never used it. It was supposed to be my secret safe haven; the place where I detailed my post private thoughts and views on the world and everything (cough* EVERYONE) in it. I was planning to make this my journal, a tell-all of sorts, with names and insults (where they were required). Eventually I got bored with the idea, and scared it would get found by someone – so I abandoned it. 

I named it ‘this fly on the wall’ because I consider myself an outsider on the inside.. Or an observer even while I’m in the game.  There’s so much more detail behind that but I won’t bore you with all that – you’ll think I’m insane! Haha 

Anyway, that domain was taken, so I tried ‘thisflyrunsthewall.wordpress.com’ and it worked! I don’t actually feel like I’m the chief fly on the wall or anything, but I won’t lie I loved it instantly. Made me feel slightly powerful loool! 

Sigh. I digress. Okay let’s try this again; So what exactly is this blog?!??!?

Continue reading “My delayed Introduction..” →

This is my first post on this blog, so readers – please be kind. I am not entirely certain that I’m cut out for the wonderful world of wordpress blogging, but here goes nothing..

How are you?

You see, I know it is a question (and an important one that that), but these days it has simply become a meaningless assortment of words, put together by people to feign interest in the lives of others.

I’d like to believe that true questions require honest answers, but that is just a myth. Lying is an age old standard that seems to defy our innate desire to be good, and true and open…

What true questions do require, is a strong interest in the information being sought, and some thought; you know – like, actual time to mull over the concept and at least come up some semblance of a self-explanatory response?

Today’s ‘how are you’ is the most mundane query to date: it is asked ceremoniously because it is considered ‘polite’ and not because we actually care about the response to follow. Some inquirers do not even wait for the response before dashing off to the meeting they are ‘late for’ or rushing off the phone to go out with other friends. And by the way, the responders are just as bad because they simply blurt out ‘fine’ or ‘good’ without even thinking! I too am a culprit of both behaviours.

Ok Ok.. so why does this even matter again?? I’ll tell you..

Last night I was watching Being Mary Jane – for those of you who don’t know, it is BET’s top television series which tells the life story of a typical successful young African American female in the US – and Mary Jane Paul (the protagonist and news anchor at SNC, played by Gabrielle Union) lost her oldest friend Lisa. Cause of death: SUICIDE :(. I was actually going to award Lisa the title of Mary Jane’s ‘best friend’, but so much has happened between them in the past year that I don’t think that would be appropriate. Most recently actually, Mary Jane (MJ) overheard her long time love interest, David, and said friend Lisa arguing about whether or not to be honest with her following their fleeting physical encounter. Mary Jane was driving at the time, and pretty much wrecked her car AND her face when she heard this, so let’s just say their relationship was on the rocks…

Lisa’s death numbed MJ, and for a long time she just seemed distant and angry, but not exactly sad. At Lisa’s funeral, MJ gave the most heart wrenching eulogy – and that is what really prompted this post.

Continue reading “How are you?” →